Cabaret
by trapt-tage
Summary: A collection of oneshots that make up the AxelxZexion claim at LJ's 30kisses comm. Potential spoilers for KHII.
1. Cabaret

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme one: Look Over Here.

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Cabaret

Axel was such a showoff. He fought flashy battles and he said curious things in a loud voice. He had an unforgettable attitude and was cocky as shit. Flaunting everything he had, everything he thought he had and everything he never had at all, he reigned supreme in egotism and the power to confound others with his shallowness.

He had a purpose of course-- what other purpose has a showoff for showing off but to be seen? He was a pompous brat waiting for the eyes of the willing giving him their attention to the fullest. Making tragedy so that he could cry, splendor so he could smile, art so that he was beautiful, and accusations so he was the accused, his society with others was a façade so real that the part was easy to play by now.

It was a role that demanded perhaps more than just a showoff that be seen. It demanded for him to be not just seen, but looked at, stared at, _watched_. His audience, no matter how large it ever grew, seemed never to be complete. Something inside of him, somewhere beneath the surface-- somewhere deep --where the clown that had painted itself on his face had never reached, still remembered that face he still longed to see turned to him.

He had never let go of his hope that his efforts would pay off in the end, but lord knows just as well as Axel has learned that Dignity never turns its proud jeweled head to stare, and Apathy would never kiss the feet of Affinity. With or without all of his antics and hysteria, Axel would always be number six, at least two short of his goal. Axel would always be standing in a blind spot to the right of his prize.


	2. Bending a Tradition

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme two: News/Letter.

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Bending a Tradition 

It had been a habit of sorts for Axel. A nightly routine. Each evening he would know on Roxas' door, step in quietly, and have a chat. Just because. They would talk about anything really, Axel usually doing the majority of the talking while Roxas sat watching him. Axel chose not to notice that Roxas didn't seem to care if he came every night or not, or whether or not Axel actually had anything to say to him. It was far too obvious and much too far-fetched to deny that Roxas was unhappy in the Organization, but the two of them were the best of friends, so nothing could ever come between them anyway. Or so Axel liked to pretend.

But after running for so long anyone would get tired, and anyone would get paranoid that what they were running from would catch up with them while their back was turned, precisely the reason Axel stopped running from his problems with Roxas one night and turned about to look them in the eye. He tried to get into Roxas' mind and figure out what was the matter; he tried to reanimate a relationship he couldn't afford to let die, but the response he received was little more than tepid, and it was clear that Roxas had lost even the interest he had had left in Axel. That night was the night Axel realized that the future held bad things for his beloved friend, and he nearly wept as he begged Roxas not to do anything rash. Axel could see now the trouble that Roxas could cause, and only prayed that he would miraculously avoid it. Again the reaction had Axel feeling sick, the words "_Just find someone else to cry to at night_," being the cruelest he could recall Roxas ever saying to him.

But Axel had been right. Roxas did leave the Organization. The very day he walked in on two old friends in a lip lock, Axel doing more than just crying with his new confidant at night. Ironically, the heartbreak Axel felt at Roxas' departure only made him seek Zexion's comfort more.


	3. Tried and True

Disclaimer: Idon't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme four: Our Distance and That Person.

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Tried and True

The Organization played by old rules. "_Punishment for traitors is death_." "_Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth_." Trust was a lie and 'companion' was the buzz word for betrayal. It was easy to see why it would be not only scandalous but dangerous were anyone to find out about them.

And yet, up against the stone wall, stripped of his jacket, Axel's hair between his fingers and tongue in his mouth, Zexion almost forgot to notice the presence of a spectator.

The Organization played by old rules. Maybe that was why his death had been sealed. "_Guilty by association_."


	4. The Heyday

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme 5: "ano sa..."

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The Heyday

When Riku and Sora came to Castle Oblivion Axel's plan went into motion. Quick kills and subtle betrayals were his specialty, he was simply doing what he did best, without mercy. The Organization became a joke, each member murdered without a second's notice, or lied to without ever realizing it. Clearly it was Axel's day. It was his time to take from them any revenge he had ever wanted.

But staring at Zexion's body, dead on the floor, the man he had just hours before kissed and made love to, Axel wondered aloud, "_Naa, Zex_, _is this how Judas felt?_" while vaguely realizing that it wasn't against just the rest of the Organization that his scheme was merciless.


	5. Party Atmosphere

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" Theme three: Jolt!

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Party Atmosphere

Axel had installed a new wall fixture, and it was still breathing. Zexion had watched as Axel had sat in peace, eating a bowl of strawberries, eying the man across the room viciously every now and then. It had stayed like that for several hours, the two of them sitting at a table in the hall, Zexion pretending to watch the revelers dance and kiss, and Axel not pretending anything.

Axel was a very unpredictable person. He wasn't dependable, he followed no schedule, and what he was thinking was what he was thinking and he let no one in on the secret. Zexion couldn't have guessed what Axel would do or when he did it; he was equally surprised as everyone else when he got up and rolled up his sleeves, though no one would believe him after the fact. Ten minutes later there was a man crucified to the wall and the entire hall was silent. (From revelers to revelations.)

Later they would have a conversation about it--

"_What was that for?"_

_"He was staring at you when we walked in…"_

--but as the ladies finally worked it up to start screaming and the men all dialed the police, Axel just stood, blankly staring at his minor disaster, eating cut strawberries from a bowl.


	6. Morse Code

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" Theme nine: Dash.

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Morse Code

Axel couldn't stand being around the other members of the organization. It was all in the act he had to put up. He was forced to look at Zexion indifferently, forced to fake it. All the stolen kisses become lies. The eyes of the others were a fence separating the two of them, an impenetrable sound barrier. There was no sign language, no series of snaps or blinks to silently communicate. There was no SOS call of distress. His lover could be the farthest thing away in the world, and he was only standing on the other side of the room.


	7. Pipe Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" Theme six: The Space Between Dream and Reality.

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Pipe Dream

He had dreams enough to make him touch himself.

There had been a time, like there is for any teenage boy, when the potential arose for any pretty face by day to turn into a rough fuck at night, through the magic and the mania of twisted dreams.

He had grown up of course-- that phase was over --but there was some fascination his subconscious seemed to still have with torturing him with such a face. To admit to himself that he dreamt at night of another man was a cruel enough task in itself, not to mention the fact that it gave him pleasure. Considering that Axel was a rowdy subordinate whose personality had always been able to rub Zexion the wrong way, the amount of shame was nearly enough to topple him at every glance of the other's face. Axel was the one man who could occasionally out-manipulate Zexion, the human manipulator, the walking shadow. It was with an understatement to say Zexion didn't quite care for the man. The sentiment they shared for each other was approximate, but never anything more than hostility, and never anything short of irritation.

It was something too physical. There was no such thing as the friction between their bodies that his mind envisioned, or the biting, the licking, and the kissing that he could remember. The lies tasted sweet, but looked so painful when they laid next to the truth. The fantasies and the realities were as far from each other as could be, residing on separate planes of existence, Zexion trapped and abused somewhere in the middle.


	8. Something Nova

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" Theme seven: Superstar.

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Something Nova 

Axel walked out onto the balcony, the chill of a winter night slipping under his coat, ruffling the hem of his hood.

"I didn't expect company," Zexion's voice came from the other side of the balcony. Axel tried to tell if he was lying.

"If you wouldn't go hiding away I wouldn't come looking for you." Axel walked up behind Zexion, resting the palms of his hands on Zexion's hips. Zexion disliked most of the other members of the Organization-- much like how the other members disliked each other --to the point that he avoided them, finding secluded places to keep out of their presence. It was a good thing Zexion liked Axel, because Axel had found him in nearly all of his little hiding spots.

"You know, you can always run away to me instead; you're the only one I let in my room."

"Why go to you when I can go to the starts and know you'll chase me anyway?"

"You make too much sense, though I hope that doesn't mean you like the stars better than me."

Zexion chuckled, amused by Axel's soft voice, and imagined their lips together. He placed his hands over Axel's.

"They're better when you're here."


	9. Intermission

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" Theme eight: Our Own World.

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Intermission

They sat in the cellar. No lights, no sound and no need for either .

Zexion had been curled in the Axel's lap, steeped in his scent and aura on the cold floor, but now they were both lying together on the floor, Axel having slipped down next to his lover after hours of running a hand through the Zexion's hair and over Zexion's skin. They lay intertwined, peacefully wrapped around each other, holding on to whatever they could get a hold on. Whatever they could grasp with strength.

They'll take as close to forever as they can get, as many soft kisses, as many sprawling, spidery, endearing whispers, before they return to their masquerade of black coats and treachery. Holding on to whatever they can, for now.


	10. Gamble

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.  
Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme ten: 10.

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Gamble 

It was time for Zexion to take a gamble. There was something and someone he wanted, and it was time for him to take it and run. He entered the room without knocking, already certain that the man he was looking for was within.

"I had bet it was you," Luxford said, holding out the Knave of Diamonds. "The cards figured you were coming. Is there a chance that I could help you with something?"

Zexion chose his words. "I'm playing a game of Risk."

"Oh? Leaving Fate up to Chance? How amusing. I would have been slow to chance that you, Zexion, would be the type. But why come to me, other than to bring me that amusement?" Luxford asked with curiosity and verbosity.

"Your… luck is a formidable force. It seemed to me obvious that I should come to you. I considered it worth it to hope for Osmosis."

Luxford nodded his head with understanding, smiling faintly at Zexion's answer. "Lady Luck is fickle to those she does not favor. If her mood is sweet Lucky shall kiss your dice; if she is foul she'll curse them. Like all arts, the excitement is in the simplicity of it. But I fear your hope is in vain, Zexion; I cannot play the game for you."

Any expression of disappointment from Zexion died in his throat, as the scent of someone approaching reached him. Zexion could see a card flip over from Luxford's deck, and he recognized the card just as he recognized the scent. The Knave of Spades.

The door opened quietly, and Axel approached the pair, Luxford satisfied by the repeated success of his cards, Zexion anxious for little reason.

"Ah, Axel, the cards bet--"

"Luxford, would you mind excusing Zexion and I for a moment?" Axel's voice had an edge of irritation, weakening but not abolishing Zexion's resolve. Zexion knew that Axel didn't usually care about the ranks of the Organization members, but he could assert himself over his subordinates when he felt inclined. Zexion took comfort in his status as Axel's senior as his protection from scorn. Axel at very least would watch his mouth around his superiors. Usually.

Zexion didn't notice Luxford's uncertain departure, but he noticed when he and Axel were alone. Luxford's luck or not, it was time to gamble.


	11. Dining Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.  
Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme eleven: Gardenia.

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Dining Out 

For the most part they didn't see each other often, both employed in different areas of the castle. There were no stolen kisses in dark hallways, no lusty palms groping in secret moments; it wasn't hard for them to hide a relationship that they rarely ever had.

But every so often, when security was lax, and everyone was too bored or tired or selfish to notice, Axel and Zexion would go missing from dinner, eating not in the towers nor the basement, but instead by themselves at a table in silence, a glass vase between them. Some how that single flower could say more things than they would ever need said.


	12. Naivete

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme thirteen: Excessive Chain.

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Naïveté 

Axel's thoughts were lined with irony. He stood with his manipulative smile on, his game face, and he knew he was in control. Zexion was the perfect example of a victim of age. Axel liked the younger man, and probably more than that, but no matter what kind of master of disguise Zexion was, he was still much too naïve to stand up to Axel.

His natural ability to manipulate people, things, facts, and fictions brought its own wisdom and precaution, but sometimes prodigies forget that they can still make mistakes. Zexion's had been too naïve for trusting Axel, for kissing Axel, for fucking Axel, for turning a blind eye to the Hell Axel was raising. Zexion had been cunning, had been a threat, until he let Axel ensnare him.

But Axel amused an even deeper irony: Zexion was right. They were bound tightly together, but the kinks didn't matter. Their rope was long enough. They could have kinks or knots or loops. It didn't matter. Axel could kill Zexion and still love him. Their rope was long enough.


	13. Breaking News

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses," Theme fourteen: Radio.

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Breaking News 

Larxene was such a bitch. The other members had had their suspicions, but they had left it at that. No, she just had to stick her nose into other people's business. She couldn't be polite or practical at all, instead she acted childish and selfish. And it pissed the hell out of him.

She had spied on the two of them one afternoon, and had made quite a discovery. Had it been anyone else Zexion wouldn't have minded half as much, but it was a testament of his luck that Larxene, the gossiping little whore, had "accidentally" run across Axel and him at a time when they had their mouths at the wrong places. Had it been anyone else he might have just turned a blind eye while Axel offed 'em. But Larxene produced a greater problem, being the news broadcaster for the Organization. She had made an announcement out of it for the rest of the group, ensuring that it was the hot, top story-gossip of the moment.

If anyone ever wondered why Zexion wasn't attracted to women, he thought it might be because the only one he ever was around was such a conniving little bitch.


	14. Practice Makes Perfect

Diclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 16: Invincible/Unrivaled

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Practice Makes Perfect 

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." For some reason his greetings were always bitter. Karma, just maybe.

Axel turned his head, appearing to have just now noticed that Zexion had entered the room. "I am."

He turned back to the strings in his fingers, carefully and easily making the marionette dance and strut with each gentle tug of and pluck of each elegant finger. The little doll could do the Tango, and the Mambo, the Forró and the Samba all in time with the quick tune Axel was humming. He sat amused with his toy, facing away from the one-man audience.

"Isn't she magnificent?" he asked as his puppet bowed to Zexion. "So polite, too."

Zexion grunted in response, rather irritated that he was being ignored for a mere child's plaything. He held a certain respect for Axel, seeing in him the positive qualities the others wrote off as just more of his 'quirks.' It didn't necessarily include loyalty, but Axel seemed much more human than the others, with or without the steadfast fealty they swore. Axel at least _had_ positive traits.

But Zexion also often had a short fuse around him-- Axel had a habit of forgetting whose subordinate he was. Zexion didn't like spending time around Axel if he had a new center of attention.

"See how she dances?" Axel continued, a pause in his light humming. He turned his head back slightly, still watching his salsa siñorita twizzle. "Can you make her dance, Zexion?"

Zexion looked at the puppet with annoyance, sore from having wasted the time to seek out Axel and his Lady Lambada. He spoke wittily, his sarcasm eating away at the integrity of his words.

"No, Axel, I've never played with toys like you." '_I play with real people instead_.'

He liked it when everything he left unsaid was painfully obvious. He was gifted in his ability to control others, and he was quite confident in and because of it. Unlike Axel, he didn't need to play with toys; he could do the very same thing to his colleagues.

"Oh?" Axel asked, interested enough to quirk an eyebrow. But not to turn his head.

Axel didn't ask any further, thinking only of how conceded, overconfident, and simple Zexion was. Their master manipulator, their vile tactician, thought life was all about the show. Axel could practically read each thought as it passed through the other's head. In his parochial mind Zexion was mistaken. To him, not being looked at was the same as not being seen. Zexion's life was made up of the live performances and the shows on the stage. If it wasn't the real thing, it wasn't necessary.

Axel nearly chuckled out loud at the child's logic; the rehearsal is just as important as the opening night, little boy. All the more practice.

Zexion left without another word, thinking puppets were for children, and angry when Axel didn't look up as the door opened, seemingly still entranced by her graceful motions. She blew him a kiss goodbye as the door closed behind him. He didn't notice. So much he had missed.


	15. Premeditation

Diclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 17: KHz

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Premeditation 

Axel sat in his room, idly fiddling with a playful ember. His thoughts rested on Zexion, the beautiful boy with a wonderful taste. Axel could feel the agitated buzz in the air, the hum like a well-oiled machine, slicked and slipping, steeped in its own grease. It was a precursor to the end Axel knew was coming. He knew every time his eyes met Zexion's that the passion he had instilled, nurtured, and cultivated within his superior was dying.

He could feel it in the waves in the air and see it in the look in Zexion's eyes. Zexion no longer wanted passion, sex, and fire. He no longer wanted heat, no longer craved midnight. Zexion had calmed, his kisses losing their lust, growing gentle with trust and endearment.

But Axel refused to let Zexion end his fun, watching with excitement the wisps of flame as they danced in his palm. Axel would not allow disenchantment.


	16. Swimming Round and Round

Diclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 18: "Say Ahh..."

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Swimming Round and Round 

If you were to empty a fishbowl of all its water you would probably be left with some painted rocks and a dead fish, making perhaps a highly unattractive decoration. Zexion though, really had no relation to a fishbowl. He would occasionally make a metaphorical reference to living in one, usually speaking over the others' heads, sometimes amusing Axel's cynicism. Occasionally he would insult Axel that he had the memory of a goldfish ("Every five seconds everything is new and exciting all over again…"), but it was always just a joke. It was safe to say that Zexion's life very rarely included fish.

And yet he felt as if he was floating near the surface, very nearly overwhelmed. Axel's mouth was over his, slowly pushing him lower onto the bed, but it was a kiss with a bad after taste. It was a kiss sans substance. No emotion, no endearment, no passion, just an empty glass lie set on display. Maybe Axel thought that he hadn't realized it yet, but to Zexion it was obvious; he nearly gagged on a kiss that tasted to him much too much like fish water.


	17. Decided by Birth

Diclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 19: Red

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Decided by Birth 

There wasn't much the members of the organization knew about their lives when they had had hearts. They didn't remember their names, their homes, or who they had used be. Their birthdays though, strangely, most of them recalled.

Axel's birthday was in July, the hot month of lions and yellow grass. The time of the many-faceted Ruby, red and gleaming in the light, blood red and smoldering in the dark; glowing from the inside out.

Zexion, on the other hand, had been born in January, the coldest month of the year. A month with clouds instead of sunshine, a month not white nor black, but more depicted in shades of gray. January was the month of Garnet, a red so dark it looked black.

Zexion had never dwelled on the thought of birthdays, the past representing no significance to him, but Axel always found it amusing; remembering with a smile each time he kissed Zexion that opposites do indeed attract.


	18. The Red Army

Diclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Note: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 20: The Road Home

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The Red Army 

The road to get back what they lost stretched on before them, long and daunting, the rocks in their shoes forever seeming to grow in size. Their goal was as virtuous and respectable as any other, though their plan to achieve it was questionable and violent. Their pursuit of happiness was riddled with pot holes, missteps, and wrong turns; with road signs they didn't stop to see until they were too lost to read them. It was a means unfit for their ends but they were someone else's tools, put to work like a hammer and a sickle; they couldn't see where they were going anyway.

They held in their palms power and knowledge never before imaginable, the world's new best and brightest, but abuse of the wrong substance can make anyone addicted; swifter than a bolt of lightning and original intentions are forgotten. They had never meant for any of this pain, for none of this blood-- but a kiss is a curse when it means sleep and not love, like a virtue become a vice misapplied.

"I think I loved him once, but it's hard to keep it straight; you can't be sure what love is, without a heart."


	19. Sovereign

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme Twleve: In A Good Mood. Personally, I kinda like this one. I guess.

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Sovereign 

"Naa, Vexen, do you feel like things are changing? Life is… different."

The older man considered the question for a moment before answering.

"I don't see what you mean. Subtle things have shifted, yes, as they often do. I wouldn't say that life as a whole has been any different from yesterday or the day before… no, I couldn't agree."

Zexion had expected as much. Changes _had_ been occurring, he could feel it, but it all seemed so slight to others as to escape their notice. Zexion seemed to be the only one to notice life altering of its own accord. He imagined the notion was too romantic to believe, but that he was possibly the only one to realize just how fast life was flying out the window, and was the only one to notice how it was passing him by.

"Bahh," Luxford spoke, stepping out to look directly at Zexion. "The air about you has changed, do leave the room. Your luck today has died, and such a death a stifling to one so sensitive as myself."

Zexion admitted that if Luxford though him unlucky, then unlucky he was, though nothing had proved it yet today. Still, Zexion had no objection to leaving-- the company wasn't at it's best anyway.

'_I'm not wrong. They don't-- probably can't --see it as I do. There are differences that I am sensitive to that they simply cannot feel. It is obvious to me that the change lies in the people, but one would think that at least Vexen would by now have seen it. He passes his time by studying **us**, after all…'_ Zexion thought, his mind still lingering on the swiftly changing patterns of his life.

He wouldn't go to his room tonight; while silence and loneliness were very much romantic and beautiful, Zexion preferred to share someone else's beauty, not become his own. Others could be victorious in battle, and he may not lift a finger, but as long as he is with them, he is victorious as well. So went his take on beauty-- others could be beautiful, and as long as he was with them he wouldn't have to create his own beauty; that was how he liked it to work.

Thusly he went instead to Axel's room, because Axel was beauty without the romance and tragedy, which was twice as lovely. Axel was quite his own little star, standing out and shimmering even when alone, and Zexion, prince of aestheticism, couldn't help but stand next to him attracted and reflecting.

Axel was waiting for him at the door, kissing him just as soon as he had even one foot inside the threshold.

"Hallo, Zexy," Axel murmured huskily, his hands having slipped to Zexion's hips, holding him gently. "I was wondering when you would come to see me." Axel quickly stepped away, leaving Zexion to close the door as he rummaged through a drawer.

"You were expecting me?" Zexion asked as the door clicked shut.

"You could say that," Axel replied, having found what he was looking for and turning back to Zexion and the door. Reaching over to turn the lock, Axel finished what he was saying. "I expected you to come just as I expected myself to kiss you when you did. I don't have a reason why, but I did. " Zexion considered what he had said, while vaguely wondering when they had reached the point that they needed to lock the door while alone. His only reply, "Oh."

It hadn't been the first time Axel had kissed him, but it had been the first time Axel had kissed him so immediately. He had never right out and kissed him at the door before, and definitely never before the door was properly shut. While Zexion knew Axel was head-over-heels in love with his body, Zexion had decided that he was still in need of time to arrange and compose the correct emotions. With every day that passed Axel became more convinced that Zexion loved him, while it was all Zexion could do to continue on in default. He never accepted, but he never declined. Zexion was, after all, the 'take names first' type, insisting he had his facts and opinions before he took action. His thoughts on the matter very consistent; '_learn from Oedipus, and question first. It would be a shame to slay your father and only learn after the fact._'

Axel tilted his head to the side, looking curiously at his friend's face. Eyebrow quirked; "Get lost in there yet?"

"What?" Zexion asked, brought back by the other's voice, but thoroughly confused by his question.

"Your head. You're in there often. Get lost yet?"

Zexion looked confused, understanding what Axel meant but it still sounding strange. "No…" he answered unsurely.

Axel seemed to let the matter drop, straightening to show Zexion what he held. In his hand was a small wooden box. "Come're," he said with a grin. Zexion would have described it as more than a grin-- as something slightly more sinister, perhaps --had he seen it on anyone else. But Zexion knew that Axel's grins didn't get any less suspicious than that.

Zexion simply followed him over away from the doorway, both taking a seat on the bed. Zexion knew it was going to happen before it did, but did nothing to stop it-- finding himself with Axel's arm around his waist and Axel's breath on his ear.

"Wanna see something exciting, Zexy?" Axel whispered, knowing Zexion would go wherever he lead him.

"Show me something exciting," Zexion answered, taking a step in the right direction. Axel's arm suddenly felt tighter around his waist.

Axel grabbed his little box and opened it up, pulling out a handful of what he kept inside it. He knew that Zexion appreciated beauty, so why not offer what he could?

To Axel, pills _were_ beautiful after all.

Just as there are wolves hiding in sheep' skin so is there magic hiding in material objects. Zexion had found proof. He had been looking for a well in a puddle and hadn't realized he'd found it until he had fallen in it. Axel stood beside him, not as the Prince Charming, but as the Fox in the Fable. As the mercurial Mercutio, his mad Mab in his palm.

Zexion was Alice, taking a stroll in the sky and counting the pebbles on the ground at night. Lost deep in thought. Where children would see childish stories of make-believe and pipe dream, he could see deep into the story, beyond its cover, its casing, and its costume. There was gruesome fact in the fairy tale, proof that not all make-believe was purely made of fancy.

He felt flung forward by the tide of time and the reality of magic, acting like running was jogging and leaping was hopping, all the while not admitting to the wear and the tear it put on him. Not admitting to others because of fear and not admitting to himself because of shame. And vice-versa.

Beside him he could see Axel, checking his watch and laughing that he was late. Somehow it was fitting, whether Zexion was in his right mind or not, that Axel was the White Rabbit. Always starting out late and on the wrong foot, but always making it on time, sometimes feigning a loss of breath. Zexion would make it just in time, having just cleared the last hurtle before the clock stopped, and there would be the Rabbit, breathing just as hard and playing along oh-so-kindly, but still able to play his trumpet ever so loudly. So empathetic, and yet at the same time feeling nothing that Zexion felt.

As the image of Axel disappeared, the Red Queen arrived. Zexion could tell she was there, but he couldn't tell who she was. He was looking at her without being able to see her, or maybe it was the other way around, he couldn't decide. His world was sliding forward with the slightest whisper of a wind; Zexion found himself running just to keep up with the ground on which he stood. What lay on the horizon, he would never know, he had not the speed to see it. The Queen ran with him, but neither were going anywhere; they were going simply to stay.

Would they have stopped they would have seen the world buzzing passed them, moving at a pace so rapid the blink of an eye would put all it's motion to waste-- the scenes of the scenic route would have all already passed by, leaving the smog and pollution of a shameful situation to be seen instead. But so hastily did it pass that they would be among the scenes again quickly anyway. Zexion knew that the Red Queen had control but she didn't use it at all. Why run against the world instead of slowing the world down?

(_Why was she given control if she didn't put it to use?_)

And in an instant the heavy hand on his shoulder vanished, though he hadn't felt a thing. She was in control of the motion of his world, the tilt and sway of his life, the very pace which was outrunning him, and she was gone. How now could he ever stop the mad road he was on, the vengeful path that carried him? Zexion's pride and ego struck bitterly at him for admitting that he was not the one doing the controlling. _He_ was the ultimate manipulator, _he_ was the walking shadow, _he _was the master of puppets. It wasn't possible for him to lose control, for him to be beaten, or for him to dance to someone else's tune. Zexion's practicality wanted to admit that there was no way to overcome the rushing road and that he would never get any farther along than the spot he was at, but his ego wouldn't allow it.

Memories of what he had done to himself for the power he possessed weren't far back in his mind; when the six of them had become fixated in exploring the darkness, when they had learned of what would become of them if they forfeited their hearts ("_Elaeus, haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else?"_), he hadn't started experiments to control the forces of nature as the other had, instead using science to command an element of _human_ nature. Zexion refused to believe that all had gone to waste, if he tried he could control the situation.

As Zexion slowed, determined against instincts to stop running against the treadmilling road, the affect was immediate. Standing still in place, Zexion wasn't dragged backwards as he had expected to be-- he had control of the land below him and any forks he might come to. He was the Red Queen, the ruler and the sovereign.

"Ne Zexy… I'm sorry."

"What for?" Zexion's voice was a calm mumble, even though he wasn't sure who was talking to him.

"I thought it would be fun to get you high, love. But I wasn't expecting you to go to sleep on stimulants, I've never quite tried that. Have any dreams?"

Zexion sat up, paused to yawn, and looked very evenly at Axel, very calmly, and this time it was Zexion who kissed Axel, Zexion who was the first to move.

"Yes."


	20. Aristocrat

Discalimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 15: Perfect Blue. I had realized that I hadn't written anything for these challenges in which I totally made shit up. So I wrote this.

* * *

Aristocrat 

Ansem the Wise wasn't a man that just anyone could get to know personally. As the leading expert in his field, and the man responsible for the most recent scientific breakthroughs of the time, he was Radiant Garden's both local and national celebrity. It was an honor among honors to become an understudy of Ansem the Wise, and one didn't receive that opportunity purely by chance. In the beginning there were only to be five chosen, only the brightest of boys and the most outstanding of pupils; only the best of the best would see the chance to learn under the direction of Ansem the Wise.

While it was said that the survey went unaffected by social class or wealth, in the end only the top schools were scouted for possible applicants; the schools with the highest tuition.

It began with Even. A very withdrawn boy, choosing his personal interest in the Sciences and Mathematics over activity in teenage social circles, much of his family's wealth was already going towards the furthering of his education and the fostering of his academic interests. Recognized as an exemplary student by both current and previous instructors, he was the first to receive the proposal to become an understudy of Ansem the Wise. It was immediately accepted.

Next came Dilan, Braig, and Elaeus, all three being chosen for their very rounded, quite nearly outstanding student repertoires. They had each shown the potential for exponential intellectual growth on top of their already high academic standards, thus prompting their induction into Ansem's personal group to be considered and later accepted.

Ienzo was to fill the fifth and final position, being more of an aristocrat than an extraordinary student or genius. The term "paid-off" was never exercised in the media, but it was, for the majority, a truth kept in the closets; the boy was intelligent but not quite prodigious, interested but not quite fascinated. It wasn't to say that he was a spoiled child, but his lack of interest in his own future was well supplanted by his family's active roles in the planning of it. His wily way with words and his crafty manner of speaking and acting around others were overlooked as minor personality traits, not to be listed as quirks or defects. He was a rich, above average student in good health, and with no cumbersome deficiencies. Despite his young age, Ienzo was accepted.

Xanhort arrived at the last moments as a wild card, a homeless child the compassionate Ansem found wandering the dark streets one night, his nearly superhuman intelligence surpassing even that of the five pupils already gathered. As a special exception Ansem allowed the boy to work underneath him, no cash, credit, or debit required.

Eventually all six of the boys made the transition from _Homo Sapien_ to next to nothing, as they all became Heartless and Nobodies of their own will. As all six of them had been gathered, all six the best of the best, all six retained their form. It was an achievement never before performed and never again reciprocated.

Ienzo-- now _Zexion_ --though not quite adored by Xenmas both because of his age and the methods by which he had entered his apprenticeship, had earned his place when he had successfully convinced Ansem of the necessity of beginning experimentation on human subjects, which led to the inception of the Organization. Nonetheless, Xenmas retained a position as number one, the leader of their Organization, while Zexion was placed at number six, the very bottom of the chain. With both his age and academic differences separating him from the top five, let alone his usefulness being only minimal, Zexion didn't enjoy his first few years as a _nothing_. He became negative, sarcastic, and cynical; preferring-- now more than ever --his solitude.

The inception of new members began slowly, not many people having hearts strong enough to support their form even after the heart's disappearance. But even with the addition of Saï x, defaulting at number seven, Zexion was still cast somewhat near the bottom, the other members giving Saï x higher reverence for his irrepressible determination and his understanding of what it meant to _be a Nobody_. It wasn't until the discovery of Axel that Zexion felt any superiority in the Organization. If the Superior had disliked Zexion, he _hated_ Axel. Axel's come-what-may, devil-may-care attitude was a shock to the Organization's structured way of life, his range of emotions far overshadowing that of anyone previous to him, and his personality was so loud and obnoxious that the other members either loved him or hated him, though most just hated him while secretly loving him.

Axel sexuality was never a question as he quite openly flaunted it, and in the case of Zexion it must be said that like sailors on a ship men will do what they must and learn to like it. Zexion had been a rich boy, not quite spoiled rotten, but used to getting what he wanted. When he found himself wanting Axel, it was no surprise that he got him. They became the Organization's much talked about couple (or at least, talked about as much as grown men without hearts cared to gossip), both being high on the Superior's list of least favorite members, but both rather extraordinary.

Axel changed drastically however, with the appearance of Roxas, the only one ever to enter the Organization younger than Zexion. Where Axel had in days past spent his spare time in his lover's room, he now spent it at his new friend's side, having seeming found a replacement companion though none ever were too sure of just to what extent Roxas could replace Zexion. When word spread that Roxas had suddenly left the Organization, Zexion was sure that had Axel still had a heart, it would have broken-- neatly, cleanly --in two. And never had Zexion been any more jealous in his life.

But in the end Zexion's mistake had been thinking he could make it all go back to normal, that pretending Roxas never existed was an option. Zexion had been rich and spoiled after all, getting everything he had wanted since day one, and when he wanted Axel to "_forget about that insipid boy with his worthless lock picks and come back to bed,_" oh yeah, Axel let him have it.


	21. Unsympathetic

Discalimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 21: Violence

* * *

Unsympathetic 

"What exactly did you think you were doing?"

"Don't tell me you're concerned," his voice was tired, slightly weak.

Axel scoffed at the retort, able to see through the arrogance of his superior. He already knew how Zexion had gotten the injuries. It was plain as day that Zexion was placed at a physical disadvantage in any battle, simply because of just how often he tried to avoid them. In Axel's mind, he deserved what he had gotten. It had been his decision to avoid battles. Stupid decisions deserved just repercussions.

"Just how bad is it?" Axel was aware that he was showing concern, but as he was still unsympathetic, he figured he wasn't being irrational.

"That's none of your business," Zexion said coldly, though his tone reflected how worn his body was.

"Stop being a child, Zexion, and let me see." Axel wasn't known for his concern for others so much as Zexion was known for his withdrawn and aloof nature, but Axel was often known to go off on inexplicable whims of want, and if he wanted it, he often got it.

Zexion would have preferred to sulk to himself alone in the castle, but Axel's persistence, he knew, would have won the better of him in the long run. He gave in, knowing that his pride would be much less harmed by Axel than by Marluxia or Vexen, and stripped of his black jacket, revealing the bruises and streaks of blood that littered his arms and torso.

"So he aimed for the heart…" Axel said, mentally appraising the damage. It bothered him to see such an amount of blood on the other's tattered clothes and body. "I can't say he missed…" he murmured.

"I noticed as much, " Zexion replied lamely. "If you're done, I'm going to clean myself up." Zexion picked his jacket back up and prepared to leave.

"It's a shame, really," Axel said, simultaneously grabbing hold of one of Zexion's wrists, "to see you like this, without your jacket, yet covered in blood."

There was a pause before Zexion asked, "What do you mean by that?" subtlety pulling his wrist slightly back towards himself.

"Simply that you'd be pleasant to look at, were you not littered with such marks, Zexy."

Zexion ceased his fidgeting to raise and apprehensive eyebrow.

"Here I thought you were moderately predictable," he muttered with a sigh. He didn't fail to notice that after he had stopped pulling back, Axel had let go of his wrist.

His statement though, brought Axel's eyes to his own. Zexion, for all his insight, couldn't tell if Axel had taken it as an insult, a complement, or a challenge. Axel's still unsympathetic bright eyes were staring deep into his own, and in the time it took Zexion to blink, Axel's lips were over his own, his hands and fingers and nails gripping Zexion's body with a characteristic aggression that was utterly maddening to the still bleeding Zexion.

With a strength rarely shown and rarely put to use Zexion pulled away, breathing heavily and scowling furiously.

"You're not predictable, you're just a faggot."

"Just wanted to make sure you were aware of that, Zexy."

"…You bit me!" Zexion cried, his fingers upon his bleeding lip. And before Axel could initiate any more activities both Zexion's mind and body would protest to, Zexion vanished, anger and bewilderment still in his eyes.

Axel stood alone in the dark of the basement, now reassured that it had been absolutely worth it to get his placid "superior" riled up, and was certain that he would be visiting his new lover later.


	22. Disappearing Act

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 22: Cradle

* * *

Disappearing Act 

He was a no-show. Zexion had understood the silent promise the two of them had made, against the wall, hot breath, hiding in the shadows, excitement bleeding secrecy. Zexion had waited. Had waited through all day, knowing that with the rise of the moon they would make love. But he realized it now. Axel had his own bedroom, and he would be making use of it tonight.  
Zexion could go to him of course, but that wasn't necessary. Axel wouldn't find it amusing. He'd see Zexion as desperate and having missed the point. Zexion would hardly be invited in.  
He despised tears, his lover, his obsession, and his depression. Axel was more to him than he should be. He was more than just another body, another toy to amuse. It had been the first time Zexion had kissed another man , but he had found an addiction in it that he couldn't give up.

Axel was like his magic mushroom. He could make the rain fall up for Zexion. He could freeze the world solid for Zexion, or set it in flames with just one look. One touch, one taste, one bat of heavy eyelashes.  
Zexion was dreaming before he was asleep, imagining a tight body beneath his. But he had known Axel wouldn't come. Axel never kept his promises.


	23. Difference in Taste

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 23: Candy. Personally I think Zexy's a bit OOC, but I let it slide. Lemme know what you think.

* * *

Difference in Taste 

It had been a challenge to search the entire castle, but Axel had been bored and what he was looking for was worth finding. He had searched from the towers to the cellar twice before he ever considered looking outside. The rain had been falling in torrents for the past two days, for the most part locking all thirteen of them inside. Possibly being outside would be better for some of them, if it meant being alone. Axel headed for the foyer and the gothic doors.

Staying in the doorway, as far out of the rain as he could get, Axel surveyed the yard, finally finding what he had been looking for at the cost of a little wet wind. Zexion stood in the middle of the landscape, his face turned up towards the sky. Axel got the feeling he was staring up at it, not reveling below it.

"You have a hood for a reason, you know," Axel shouted out to him, less jokingly than he had intended, stepping out of the doorway and into the rain. Zexion looked around, not replying, just watching as Axel approached.

"When the sky is this dark it seems to go on forever." Axel could tell from the tone of his voice, even over the sound of the rain, that it depressed Zexion. The rain made it hard for him to smile.

"They say, you know, that rain drops are really lemon drops, and that if you drink the rain you can taste them," Axel said, hoping to lighten the other's mood. He had reached Zexion now, expecting to see him smile softly, tilt his head back, and play the game for Axel.

But Zexion's smile was hardly there, and he didn't tilt his head back nearly enough. Instead Zexion leaned up and barely kissed Axel, their lips hardly brushing at all. When Zexion moved back away, Axel was still too shocked to move, letting the water matt his hair to his forehead, heavy drops sliding down his face.

"I could taste the rain, but this is so much sweeter than lemon drops."


	24. Pretty

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 24: Goodnight.

* * *

Pretty 

Vexen's toy stood above him, its stolen eyes shinning with malicious glee, its lips curved and poised to laugh with malevolence. His strength already emptying from his body, Zexion was unable to get up from his position on the floor.

"Aw, poor Zexion. Having trouble now that it's come time for you to fight?" Axel appeared next to the replica, his hood lowered to expose the mock concern he offered the man below him. "Pathetic." he spat.

Zexion clenched his teeth, not daring to speak when his life was so very fragile. Nevertheless, he did nothing to stop the hatred from showing through his eyes.

"But still," Axel continued in a light voice, "it is a shame. You're such a pretty little pathetic boy." Axel bent down to admire Zexion's pale face, torn in agony. "Yes, such a pretty little boy."

Axel's lips closed on Zexion's, his eyes closed as placidly as a man with an angel's conscience. He pulled away, whispering ghosts of words against Zexion's lips.

"Goodnight, pretty Zexy."

Zexion never even felt it. He had been concentrating on the eyes.


	25. Game of Sides

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 25: Fence.

* * *

Game of Sides 

It wasn't as if he hadn't tried-- he had, to be sure --but no matter his efforts, the outcome was consistently the same. The first sign of insanity was, after all, trying the same thing over again, expecting different results.

What Axel had seen in him, he had been sure was something like a toy to play with or a way to whittle away long hours. Zexion had willingly accepted. Days are long and redundant-- patterns are easy to fall into and conformity makes one sick after too long. Some excitement here or there does good for the soul, so he believed.

But from Axel's lips came the real answer; that answer that Zexion thought he already had, and suddenly things weren't making as much sense. Zexion would have gladly been objectified in Axel's eyes. Rather than to have ever heard the word 'Love.' It had become more than a way to pass the empty hours in the dark. Now it was the shinning crystal of altruism, in a glass case made of hope, and a velvet cushion sewn of endearment. Now he was suppose to value it. Treasure it. Supposed to mean something.

He wanted to be in that little glass bubble of sex-for-love-not-for-sex ideals, but he wanted to keep things clean and simple and between the sheets. He was sitting in the dregs of the slums of the world, down in a black hole, chilled to the bone, staring up at the crystal ball of the moon. He had passed the point of seeing things for their value, and had reached the point of seeing them for their price. No matter how nice and how entertaining, how perfect and comfortable it would be to love his lover, Zexion just didn't have it in him.

An awful feeling. Left with a clean, clear, solid divide between 'Love,' and 'Material.'


	26. Green

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 26: Wishing I Could Make You Mine.

* * *

Green 

"Where did he go now?"

"Who? Zexion?" Vexen asked, looking to the doorway where Axel stood. "You know very well where he went," he said with disdain.

It was true, Axel really hadn't needed to ask. It wasn't rare for Zexion to disappear in the middle of a conversation or seemingly for no reason. It wasn't rare either for him to appear when one thought him busy elsewhere. Where it was he went to, and where it was he came from, while he refused to mention or acknowledge it, everyone knew. No one really said anything about it though, it was more like a little taboo they had especially for him.

The Superior favored Zexion because Zexion favored the Superior.

"Then I suppose there was no point in me coming down here."

"Indeed. If you had business with him you know well that his business elsewhere is priority. You'll have to find him later."

"Hm."

Axel left the room, having no interest in further conversation. Alone in the hall, Axel's thoughts no longer felt stifled by company, allowing him to lose himself in his envy. It was a jealousy he wouldn't deign to admit-- least of all to himself --but that he knew was there every time he noticed Zexion was missing, or every time showed up late.

Axel had not used to be an avaricious or envious person, but there had never been a time he had not been driven by lust. And lust, like any vice, could often lure out the rest of the vices lying dormant within him with a mean kiss, thus letting loose the demons of Greed and Want.

Axel, still in the hall outside the cellar door, looked to the ceiling with green eyes, as if they would be able to see the two people far above him. He knew he would forever stay this loveless wreck he had become, because one cannot take what already belongs to the Superior, and yet Axel couldn't stop wanting it.


	27. Distraught

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 27: Overflow.

* * *

Distraught 

Zexion had made love to him once.

It had been a spectacular night, that night. Whatever the reason, whatever the cause-- the man had refused to mention it that night and never acknowledged it that morning --he had been so wonderfully broken. So delightfully devastated. The cold man that controlled his emotions like a hard master drives his slaves came out of his dungeon, out of his callous shell, and hardly knocked on the door before he was in the room leaning on a distant acquaintance. How had he become such an emotional mess? Axel had intended to ask him, but kisses and caresses came before reasons, and passion took priority, making words obsolete.

Axel had seen him cry once; it was elevating. Beautiful.


	28. Just a Dash

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 28: Calcium Pills.

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Just a Dash 

Zexion didn't always like Axel's dominance or aggression; he was much more rough sometimes than Zexion could ever particularly enjoy. It was all of Axel's bad, passionate habits-- fierce fingernails, bruising kisses. Zexion knew for a fact that Axel's canines were shaper than average.

But Zexion never complained. Axel knew how to charm his protests out of his mind. Axel would be tender and unassuming, would caress Zexion and kiss him gently. After all, it was the spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down.


	29. Suspended Animation

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 29: Sound of Waves

* * *

Suspended Animation 

Perhaps twenty minutes had passed since either of them had spoken. Axels liked Zexion's calm disposition and how tender it made the silence between them. The hadn't spent time like this in a while.

Zexion sat with his eyes closed, running a hand lightly along Axel's arm, tranquility seeping in and spreading like a drop of dye in a glass of water, like ripples in a clear pond. Not a pin drop of sound.

Axel felt the fire in him slowly, quietly flicker out, leaving a lingering warmth. He knew Zexion would eventually put him to sleep like this-- it worked every time --but he didn't care. Zexion would kiss away his fire, softly replacing hot flames with calm water.


	30. An Hour Before Dusk

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 30: Kiss. And that's all she wrote.

* * *

An Hour Before Dusk 

Axel had known even from the very beginning that what he was doing was wrong. It was all a part of his desperate scheme, slowly gaining liberty from the rest of the Organization. It was half out of amusement and half out of necessity that he treated Zexion the way he did. In the case of Marluxia or Larxene Axel could easily take care of them when the time came by way of sheer force if he had to, but Zexion had the potential to present a problem-- his intellect warranted a higher strategy.

Thus the power of seduction. Even if the love was fake the sex was still physical, and that was all Axel needed. Just so long as when he set his plan into motion he had the Organization's tactician on his side, covering his tracks, Axel was practically guaranteed success without even trying. Not only would he succeed, but their master manipulator, the shadow of Ienzo, would be his own personal trophy. A testament to his victory over them all.

But even after the passion and the imagination and the lies Axel knew that what he was doing was wrong-- it wasn't until Zexion kissed him first that he realized he regretted it.

* * *

Note: And thus it ends. Though, next will be 20 Riku/Sora one-shots. Only I percieve those to be of better quality than these. As far as me writting more Axel/Zexion, I may. I just may. Motivate me. 


End file.
